I did a lot of stupid things when I was a kid, and I've decided to log as many of these stories as I can remember. There will also be random things about people I remember from elementary school.
First let start off with my friend JJ. We did some dumb shit together.
Story number 1:
One summer day, me and JJ decided it would be a cool thing to rip apart my moms tulip bed which was massive, and throw them at each other. It turns out it wasn't as good of an idea as we once though once my parents got home. I vaguely remember try to re-plant the tulips after we were done, but I still have no fucking clue how to plant anything, so I doubt I knew back then.
Anyway, I'm surprised my mom didn't take a sawed off shotgun to my head, and I'm surprised JJ's parent's didn't smack him upside the head with a bible as that was pretty much the only object they had in their house. All I recieved was as grounding for a few weeks, and the loss of all my He-man toys which was a big deal. Sorry, mom.
Story number 2:
Me and JJ didn't always get along, and the first person I ever knocked the fuck out was in fact JJ. I remember one week he was just terrorizing me, so one day I got sick of it and just threw a right cross at that fuckers face as hard as I could, and dropped him. I was 6, and he was 4. His dad didn't like it too much since he saw the whole thing. I remember him yelling at me to come back so he could ground me. The thing is, he wasn't my fucking parent. I didn't get grounded for that one.
Story number 3:
It was winter, and me and JJ, and some other friends decided it was a good idea to go down the steepest fucking hill we could on a sled. It was a one man sled. It was one of those plastic snowmobile looking fuckers. I don't know if you remember them, but they did exist.
Anyway it was my turn, so on I get. I remember going fucking fast as hell, and smashing into a tree and it hurt a lot. Needless to say, I only did it 3 more times. We then went and watched ninja turtles.
Story number 4:
JJ's mom, Margie, hated snot. In fact, I swear she started some sort of underground snot hating cult.
Anyway, me, JJ, and the two fuckers who had me get on that sled were playing mario bros. 1 on nintendo one day when she came in the room, and freaked out about some snot on the carpet. This thing was fucking huge, and I have no idea where it came from. She demanded we shut off the nintendo, and that there would be no more nintendo until someone confessed who's booger it was. No one was doing it, so I just fucking did it so I could play nintendo again. Well my plan didn't go as planned since I was grounded for yet another week by my fucking parents, and it wasn't even my booger. No one else confessed either...those fuckers.
Come to think of it, Margie also had a thing with us ripping the crust of our toast, and puke. She just couldn't handle this shit. Weird, man. I also saw her in her bra and panties once by accident, and yeah, she had a tight body.
Story number 5:
This won't be so much a story as much as it will be random JJ thoughts
- Us running from lots of wasps
- Peeing in his backyard, and getting caught
- Smashing a meter stick over his head when playing hide and go seek
- Steeling some of his legomen - sorry, dude. They were just too fucking cool.
- Riding down steep hills on skateboards on our stomachs, and wiping out.
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